IF YOU’RE LOOKING for a place where misadventure could begin, you can’t go past Mbargo. The nightclub’s streetfront is painted a purple so bright you’ll see it in your dreams. Strings of giant sequins shimmer in the breeze. Its phonically inventive name is spelt in silver letters that climb its three-storey terrace facade. Inside are strips of burning neon, a few booths, floorboards so marinated in drink that they have an ingredients list. Bristol is a student city on England’s south coast crowded with music and nightlife and street art. This is Banksy’s home town, and the tourism board suggests in rather strong terms that ‘you would be a fool not to see his amazing work firsthand’. The same organisation describes Mbargo as ‘intimate’, which is fair for a place where you can catch an STI standing up. Students cram into its modest dimensions while people with names like DJ Klaud battle for billing with £1.50 drink deals over seven sloppy nights a week. To get a sense of the story about to come, consider that it’s the kind of place open until two o’clock on a Monday morning, and that at two o’clock on a Monday morning, Ben Stokes still thought it had closed too early.
The Ashes of 2017–18 had disciplinary bookends. It was after that series that Australia’s two leaders went off the rails in South Africa. It was a few weeks before that Ashes tour that England’s biggest star windmilled his way into his own disaster.
In the early hours of 25 September 2017, Stokes and teammate Alex Hales were barred from re-entering Mbargo after a night out on the piss. A Sunday thrashing of an abject West Indies in an ignored series at the fag-end of the season apparently required ample celebration. After arguing with the bouncer and hanging about at the door for a while, they wandered off to find a casino in the hope of more drinking. They’d barely made it around the corner before getting in the middle of a conflict between four locals. As is said on the internet, it escalated quickly.
The 26 September reporting was bloodless. Withholding names, police stated that a man ‘was arrested on suspicion of causing actual bodily harm’ while another went to hospital with facial injuries. England’s director of cricket Andrew Strauss separately confirmed that Stokes was the arrestee, adding that he had been released without charge and that Hales had gamely offered to ‘help police with their enquiries’. Administrators had a good chance of hiding behind that investigation, and the next day Stokes was named in the upcoming Ashes squad as expected. But that night the video emerged.
Bristol student Max Wilson had shot it on his phone, then offered it to The Sun. What he thought was playing hardball was actually lowball: his opening price of £3000 was snapped up by a tabloid that would have paid ten times that. The Sun went on to make a mint by syndicating the rights worldwide. From a window above the fray, the vision showed six men on the street below performing the muddled choreography of a melee. One was right at the centre of it. One was waving a bottle, one dipped in and out, one tried to calm it. Two others floated around the edges. The central figure was unmistakable: red hair burning even in the streetlight as he launched into a series of blows against two of the men, falling to grapple with them on the ground, then following both across the street, swinging punches the whole way. Hales trailed behind, repeatedly and impotently shouting ‘Stokes! Stop! Stokes! Enough!’ The ECB could fudge issues that existed only in thickets of legalese, but not those captured in moving colour. Stokes was stood down from the next West Indies match, then suspended indefinitely. It emerged that he had broken his hand during the fight, something he’d done twice before while punching objects in dressing rooms.
The response in Australia was fierce: Stokes was a thug, a lowlife, a selection that would disgrace England. It was not entirely coincidental that a ban for England’s best player would be handy for the Aussie team, but there was also a cultural split. In England, plenty of people still minimise pub fights as lads letting off steam. In Australia, heavy media coverage as a succession of young men were killed had inverted that tolerance. The discourse now saw any punch as potentially deadly and accordingly reckless. This was more poignant in a cricket context given that David Hookes, the dashing Test batsman and state coach, was killed in 2004 by a pub bouncer’s fist.
The PR situation was bad for Stokes as details emerged of the injuries to the men he’d hit, and that one was a young war veteran and father. Stokes wasn’t officially removed from the Ashes squad through October but stayed behind when his teammates left, hoping for police to dismiss the matter in time for a late dash to Australia. His annual contract was renewed on the due date in case that came to pass. Then 29 October brought a twist in the tale.
‘Ben Stokes praised by gay couple after defending them from homophobic thugs,’ ran the headline. Kai Barry and Billy O’Connell had emerged. Not entirely out of nowhere: while Stokes had made no public comment, this story in his defence had initially been leaked to TV host Piers Morgan after the fight, as soon as the video appeared. Police body-camera footage played in court would later show that Stokes had given the same story to the arresting officer on the night. But no-one knew the identities of the fifth and sixth men in the video, and police appeals had turned up nothing.
It was The Sun again with the breakthrough. Kai and Billy were perfect for a readership not keen on nuance. ‘We couldn’t believe it when we found out they were famous cricketers. I just thought Ben and Alex were quite hot, fit guys,’ said Kai, who was memorably described as a ‘former House of Fraser sales assistant’. The paper had the pair do a full photo shoot: layering the fake tan, showing off chest waxes, mixing Ralph Lauren and Louis Vuitton into a range of outfits. Their best shot had them standing back to back, heads turned to the camera, in a mirror-image Zoolander moment.
Suddenly The Sun was the England team’s best friend. ‘Their claims could lead to the all-rounder being cleared over the punch-up and freed to play in the First Test in Australia next month,’ it gushed, then gave a tasting platter of quotes: ‘We were so grateful to Ben for stepping in to help. He was a real hero.’ ‘If Ben hadn’t intervened it could have been a lot worse for us.’ ‘We could’ve been in real trouble. Ben was a real gentleman.’ Would it be known forever as Kai and Billy’s Ashes? No. While the Bristol boys provided spin for Stokes’ reputation they didn’t influence the police. With charges still pending there was little choice – not given Strauss had previously sacked Kevin Pietersen for being annoying. Stokes remained suspended through the Ashes and a one-day series in Australia, and lost the vice-captaincy. It was January 2018 before the Crown Prosecution Service laid a charge.
That charge surprisingly came in as affray, a crime that can carry prison time but is classified as ‘a breach of the peace as a result of disorderly conduct’. The men he had punched, Ryan Ali and Ryan Hale, faced the same count, charged as equal participants in a fight rather than Stokes being charged with assaulting them. Alex Hales was not charged, despite being seen in the video to aim several kicks when Ryan Ali was lying on the ground. Given the underwhelming standing of the offence, Stokes was cleared by the ECB to tour New Zealand, and kept playing until his trial in August 2018, which he missed a Test to attend. None of the three defendants would be convicted.
The reasoning behind the charges was never released and was attributed vaguely to ‘CPS lawyers’. The service gave the case to Alison Morgan, a prosecutor of a class known as Treasury Counsel who usually handle serious criminal matters. Morgan had a scheduling clash and never ended up court for the case, but in 2018 and 2019 she would go on to win damages and admissions of libel from The Daily Mail, The Times and The Daily Telegraph variously for incorrectly reporting that she had been responsible for the inadequate and inconsistent charging decisions.
Morgan’s successor on the case was Nicholas Corsellis QC, who on the first day of trial was permitted by the CPS to request two assault charges be added against Stokes. ‘Upon further review,’ claimed a CPS statement, ‘we considered that additional assault charges would also be appropriate.’ This was patent nonsense from the service that eight months earlier had chosen the lesser charge. Any lawyer knows that no judge will allow new charges once a trial has begun, because the defence hasn’t had time to prepare. But such a request could deflect criticism of the prosecution service by technically making the judge the one who disallows the charge.
Working through the story from the trial and the tape is complicated. You had a Ryan and a Ryan, a Hale and a Hales, a Billy and a Barry and a Ben. You had several versions of events as to who knew whom, who was drinking with whom, who had insulted whom and who had merely engaged in ‘banter’, a word that in modern Britain has to do an unconscionable amount of lifting. The reporting had constantly mixed up the Ryans as to who had which injury, who was in hospital, who had played which part in the fight, and whose mum had which stern words to say about it.
Let’s agree that from now Ryan Ali is Ryan One, the firefighter who ended up with a fractured eye socket and a cracked tooth. Ryan Two can be Ryan Hale, the soldier who scored concussion and facial lacerations. Mr Barry and Mr O’Connell are best known per The Sun as Kai and Billy. In scorecard parlance we’ll leave the cricketers as Stokes and Hales.
Amid the confusion, Stokes and his lawyers built his case in a straightforward way. The UK legal definition of affray is ‘if a person threatens or uses unlawful violence or force towards another person, which causes another person of reasonable firmness present at the scene to fear for their safety’. That means it doesn’t account for violence that harms a target, but violence that might frighten a theoretical bystander. The wiggle room for Stokes was with ‘unlawful’, because the charge excuses violence in defending oneself or others.
This interpretation hinged on the beginning of the video, where Ryan One waves a beer bottle about and takes a swing at Kai. The version from Stokes was that he was minding his own business walking down the street when he heard homophobic abuse. He intervened verbally and was threatened verbally by Ryan One – something that Ryan One denied but that couldn’t be proved or disproved. In fear for his safety Stokes had to nullify that threat by bashing Ryan One before it went the other way. He registered Ryan Two in his peripheral vision as another possible threat, and again had only one recourse.
Stokes also had to convince the jury to disregard testimony from Mbargo’s bouncer that he had been looking for a fight. A solid lump of a man, Andrew Cunningham had not enjoyed his patron’s attempts to get back into the club after the bouncer declined an offer of a bribe. ‘He got a bit verbally abusive towards myself. He mentioned my gold teeth and he said I looked like a cunt and I replied, “Thank you very much.” He just looked at me and told me my tattoos were shit and to look at my job.’ Cunningham described these words as coming in ‘a spiteful tone, quite an angry tone’, and said that Stokes still seemed angry as he walked away.
These were details the doorman had nothing to gain by inventing, but each of them Stokes denied. By his own accounting he had drunk a beer at the game and three pints at his hotel, then ‘potentially had some Jägerbombs’ along with half a dozen vodkas at the club. He insisted that after all of this he was not drunk.
If I may take a moment here to call upon the wisdom of experience – a person who cannot definitively say whether they have had any Jägerbombs has definitely had some Jägerbombs. A Jägerbomb is an experience that does not pass one by. Further to that, a person who says they have ‘potentially’ done something has definitely done that thing and doesn’t want to admit it. A person who has had between 15 and 24 standard drinks in one evening is shitfaced. A person who tries to bribe a bouncer £300 – three hundred quid! – to get into Mbargo – Mbargo! – is beyond shitfaced.
If Stokes admitted that he was drunk then the prosecution could say he was out of control. He claimed clear recall of assessing a threat, feeling fear and deciding to protect himself with force. He confidently denied details from the bouncer’s testimony, like using the word ‘cunt’ or mentioning gold teeth. Yet on other details he claimed a ‘significant memory blackout’. He didn’t remember the punch that saw Ryan One taken away by ambulance. He didn’t remember what the Ryans had said to Kai and Billy, only that those words were homophobic. With no head injury, as one of the few people who hadn’t been hit, he had supposedly suffered this memory loss despite being sober.
The version from Kai and Billy was compatible but vague: they had been walking along, they ‘heard … shouts’ of abuse from an unspecified source, then Stokes ‘stepped in’ and thus they avoided possible harm. They claimed to have been bought a drink by Stokes at Mbargo, although CCTV showed them meeting outside. The overall implication from both accounts was that the cricketers had been pals with Kai and Billy, while the Ryans as per The Sun’s headline were a roving band of thugs.
The reality though is that the Ryans were the ones hanging out with Kai and Billy at Mbargo. Police discussed CCTV from inside the club in questioning and at trial. On that footage the four Bristolians bought drinks for one another, danced together, and Kai was noted to have variously touched Ryan Two’s crotch and Ryan One’s buttock. Ryan One told police that all of this was taken lightheartedly and wasn’t a problem. Indeed, when the Ryans called it a night the other two left with them.
This much is clear from footage out the front of Mbargo, which shows Kai and Billy exit the club and start talking with a subdued Hales and a demonstrative Stokes, who are stuck outside. The vision was played in court to determine whether Stokes was antagonistic towards Kai and Billy, as he appears to impersonate them and to throw a lit cigarette their way. More interesting is that after a few minutes the Ryans emerge, and all six actors in the fight video briefly form a prequel in the one frame.
Ryan Two pats Billy on the chest in friendly fashion with his right hand before clapping him on the back with his left. He moves past and does the same to Kai before leaving the shot. Ryan One stops to speak to Kai. They lean in for a moment, talking, then Kai turns and they walk out of frame together. Billy hangs around for a few seconds at the door and then looks after them and races to catch up. Stokes and Hales remain outside the club to remonstrate further with the bouncers. Whatever discord develops around the corner is between four men who left amicably together minutes earlier.
There’s no way to know what caused that friction. If Ryan One did use homophobic slurs, he might have been drunkenly obnoxious for no reason. He might have had an insecure macho response to some extra flirtation. He might have thought unkindness was funny – ‘banter’ once again. Or he might have said something that was misunderstood, as both Ryans insisted in court that they had not used nor had the impulse to use any abusive language.
What clearly didn’t happen was an attack by bigots on random passers-by. This kind of crime is regular enough that an audience understands the horror of it, and this is what was evoked by the public accounts of Stokes, Billy and Kai. All we know is that there was some verbal dispute among the Bristol locals, and that Stokes came along behind them and put himself in the middle of it. Ryan One responded to the interference aggressively and away they went. There are plenty of reasons to look sideways at the idea that Stokes was a saviour. Foremost, neither Kai nor Billy was called upon as witnesses in court. You’d think it would be ideal to have Stokes’ story backed up by those who benefited from his selflessness. But his defence team had developed the impression that the pair had shown a changeable recall of events amid a hard-partying lifestyle, and would be dismantled by the prosecution on the stand.
That raises the question of whether The Sun coached their quotes for the 2017 interview. Despite missing court, Kai and Billy clearly enjoyed the attention. In 2018 after the trial they did a follow-up spread in the same paper about how poor Ben had been mistreated. They got a television spot on Good Morning Britain and glowed about his heroism. In 2019 The Sun wheeled them out once more to say that Stokes should get a knighthood. In 2017 they had ‘never watched cricket’ but by 2019 were supposedly volunteering sentences like, ‘He saved us, now he’s saved the Ashes.’ Whether they were paid for these appearances is not known, but the chance to be famous for a day can be lure enough.
If you find this cynical, consider that on the night in question, the Bristol boys were so deeply moved and thankful for Ben’s intervention that they left him to be arrested and never attempted to find out who he was. Seconds after the video ended, an off-duty policeman reached the scene. You might think that someone grateful to a saviour would speak on his behalf. Instead, said Kai, ‘it all got a bit scary so we walked off. It was too much for me and we went to Quigley’s takeaway for chicken burgers and cheesy chips.’ They didn’t give their hero a thought for over a month while police issued multiple appeals for witnesses.
As for Stokes, he told his arresting officer that ‘his friends’ had been attacked. After three minutes of chat outside a nightclub, these friends were so dear to him that he has never contacted them again: not after the newspaper piece, not after the verdict. He didn’t want to see how they were or thank them for their support. He didn’t mention them by name in his solicitor’s statement after the trial.
The Stokes defence rested on Ryan One’s bottle, which he had carried out of Mbargo to finish a beer, not to use in a Sharks versus Jets amateur production. But once he turned it over to hold it by the neck it became a weapon. Intent and interpretation can change the material nature of things. Part of Stokes’ justification in court was that the bottle implied that the two Ryans might have ‘other weapons’ hidden away. You can understand how a jury could decide that created doubt.
Not being convicted, though, doesn’t give the contents of the video a big green tick. It does not, as his lawyer claimed, vindicate Stokes. Looking in detail, Ryan One is belligerent but his movements telegraph a bluff. Hales is the person he’s gesturing at, but they’re several metres apart when Ryan One cocks his arm ostentatiously, showing off the bottle rather than bracing to swing. He skips forward but Hales skips back and Ryan One doesn’t follow. Kai stretches out an arm to impede Ryan One, who has a drunken stumble, nearly eats pavement, then staggers towards Kai and hits him in the back. That hand is still holding the bottle, but his strike is a side-arm cuff on a soft part of the body. It’s all pretty tame.
This is where Stokes gets involved. Having moved across to protect Hales, he now takes three large steps to run around Kai and booms his first punch at Ryan One. They fall to the ground and the bottle clinks away. Stokes gets to his feet to punch down at the fallen man, while Hales arrives to kick him ineffectively then runs off across the street for some unknown reason. Ice-cream van? Stokes is soon back in the grapple having his shirt pulled up to show off his Durham tan. Ryan Two steps in for the first time to pull Stokes away, prompting a couple more random punches at this new target, then Stokes trips backwards over Ryan One and sprawls in the street. Hales chooses this moment to return and aim some solid kicks at the head of the man on the ground. Nothing so far is a triumph of moral philosophy or the pugilistic arts. But if it all stopped here, perhaps you could say it was somewhere approaching fair. Ryan One has behaved like a turnip and it’s not an entirely unjust world that would give him a whack across the chops. The antagonists have disentangled, Stokes has some distance, it’s time to dust off and go home. Ryan Two steps forward for this purpose with his palm raised in conciliatory style and says, ‘Settle down, stop.’
So Stokes punches him.
It’s roughly his fifth punch overall, and he really winds up into this one. He misses so hard that he stumbles away into the shadows of the shop awnings along the road.
Hales starts shouting for him to stop. Ryan Two backs into the street, still holding his palm up. Stokes closes on him from about five metres away, six large steps, to where Ryan Two is standing on his own. Stokes pushes him a couple of times, as Ryan Two keeps trying to placate him and saying ‘Stop.’ Stokes throws his sixth punch, largely missing as his target ducks.
Ryan Two keeps pulling away and reversing, into the middle of the street now. Stokes follows him, grabbing his sleeve to drag him back. By this point Ryan One has found his feet and walked around behind his friend. Both of them are in the same line of sight for Stokes, and both are backing away. Stokes aims his seventh and his eighth punches, which Ryan Two tries to deflect, as Hales walks up behind Stokes to grab him.
Stokes yanks away from his friend and switches to Ryan One instead, taking seven paces to grab him before throwing his ninth punch of the night. He grabs again; Ryan One blocks that arm and pushes himself back away from Stokes. Ryan Two again intercedes, putting himself between the two with his palms up and his arm extended.
Stokes throws his tenth punch, a right-hander at the face of Ryan Two, then shoves him backwards. Ryan Two backs away once more, four paces. Stokes follows, steadies, lines up, then launches his strongest punch yet, his eleventh, a proper right hook from a solid base, one that cracks across the man’s head and gives him concussion. Ryan Two ends up flat on his back in the middle of the street, his hands still outstretched for a moment in useless protest until they twitch and drop to the blacktop.
Stokes isn’t done. He once more shoves away the restraining Hales and follows Ryan One, who keeps backing away saying, ‘Alright, alright, alright.’ Five more paces from Stokes before another blow at the man’s head. Kai and Billy are now standing over the poleaxed Ryan Two. The video ends, but seconds later Stokes will punch Ryan One hard enough to knock him out too, before off-duty cop Andrew Spure arrives on the scene to bring down the curtain. When the body-camera footage kicks in some minutes later, Stokes is in handcuffs but Ryan One is still laid out in the street. Ryan Two has regained consciousness, folded his shirt under his friend’s head and is asking police for an ambulance.
‘At this point, I felt vulnerable and frightened. I was concerned for myself and others.’ This was how Stokes described that sequence to the court. An elite athlete with years of gym work and training to snap a bat through the line of a ball with astounding power and precision, swinging fists as hard as he can at men with none of those advantages. Punching so hard that he breaks his hand, and repeatedly shoving away a friend so he can punch some more. Frightened and threatened by two targets shouting ‘Get back!’ and ‘Stop!’
The off-duty officer testified that Stokes ‘seemed to be the main aggressor or was progressing forward trying to get to’ Ryan One, who was ‘trying to back away or get away from the situation’. The student who filmed the video can be heard on the tape at one stage exclaiming ‘Fuck!’ and testified that it was because ‘I felt a little bit sorry about the lad that had been punched and it looked like he had his hands up’. That tallied with the prosecutor’s depiction of ‘a sustained episode of significant violence that left onlookers shocked at what was taking place’.
The defendant stuck to his strategy. ‘No, my sole focus was to protect myself.’ All up, in the 33 seconds of footage after he falls over, Stokes takes 35 steps forward to keep hitting two men who keep trying to get away. Not once is he hit back.
After the verdict, Stokes’ solicitor positioned him as the victim. It had been ‘an eleven-month ordeal for Ben … The jury’s decision fairly reflects the truth of what happened that night … He was minding his own business … It was only when others came under threat that Ben became physically engaged. The steps that he took were solely aimed at ensuring the safety of himself and the others present …’ The statement was impossibly self-righteous and self-absorbed.
If there was anyone to feel sorry for it was Ryan Hale, the second of our two Ryans. He’s the one who emerged from the club with a friendly arm around the shoulder for Kai and Billy. He’s the one who interposed himself to end the fight, then kept putting himself back in the firing line, trying to calm an intimidating stranger while dodging blows. For his show of restraint he got laid out regardless, concussed in the street, then was issued a criminal charge equal to that of the man who hit him, and described in national media as a violent bigot in an untested story to support that man’s defence.
Lawyers for Ryan Two made a more convincing post-trial statement, noting that Kai and Billy, ‘neither of whom were relied upon by the prosecution or the defence team for Mr Stokes, have taken the opportunity to speak with various media outlets about the alleged homophobic abuse that they received in the early hours of September 25. Mr Hale has passionately denied this allegation throughout the course of this case,’ it continued.
‘It is upsetting to Mr Hale that although he was acquitted, the accusation that he was the author of such abuse remains. Both Mr Hale and Mr Ali were knocked unconscious by Mr Stokes, and although Mr Stokes has been acquitted of an affray, Mr Hale struggles with the reasons why the Crown Prosecution Service did not treat him as a victim of an unlawful assault.’Good question. Avon and Somerset police were the investigating force, and they were frustrated by the decision. Ryan Two was filmed clearly not hurting anyone, but police were instructed by the CPS to proceed with a charge. Hales (the cricketer) was filmed fighting but ‘a decision was made at a senior level of the CPS’ not to proceed. Police expected Stokes to be charged with assault but the CPS declined. It doesn’t take a wild cynic to think that placing the same lukewarm charge on three men for vastly divergent behaviour might ensure that none would be convicted, even as the trial would maintain the pretence that a defendant of influential standing had not been given a free pass.
A couple of years down the line, the original interview with Kai and Billy has disappeared. All traces have been scrubbed from The Sun website, its social media history, and even from the Wayback Machine internet archive. Given its headline of ‘homophobic thugs’ and text that names Ryan Two but not Ryan One, the libel liability isn’t hard to spot. Later interviews with Kai and Billy take the passive voice – they ‘suffered homophobic slurs outside a Bristol nightclub’.
The article that was once claimed to exonerate brave Ben Stokes now links only to a missing content page, with a picture of a dropped ice-cream cone and the phrase ‘legal removal’ inserted into the web URL. In terms of consequences, Stokes missed one tour. When he resumed his career in January 2018, the Australians hadn’t yet ruined theirs. Their year-long bans looked much more stringent. But the Stokes case dragged on in other ways. With no criminal liability, the Australians confessed promptly enough for the sporting world to give them the full length of the lash. Their situation was ugly but there was closure. Stokes got stuck in legal stasis, unable to be fully backed or condemned. Instead his issue was always present, a browser full of open tabs that the ECB swore they would read any day now.
Through 2018 Stokes was back but he wasn’t back, in the sunglasses and finger-guns sense. In his return one-day series he nearly cost England a match with 39 from 73 balls in Wellington. His first Test hit was a duck as England got rolled in Auckland for 58. At Trent Bridge while Stokes was injured, England posted a world record 481 against Australia. With Stokes three weeks later at the same ground they made 268. He crawled to 50 from 103, the second-slowest any Englishman had reached that milestone in 20 years. That span covered Alastair Cook’s whole career. It was apologetic batting, acting out responsibility via the scorecard. Stokes was creeping back into the team like he’d been kicked out in a blazing row and was hoping to tip-toe to the sofa.
It was December 2018 before the ECB disciplinary committee ruled on him and Hales. In a ‘remarkable coincidence’, wrote Simon Heffer in The Telegraph, ‘the punishment both players faced in terms of bans from playing at international level was covered by the amount of games they had already missed when dropped by England’s selectors, in the furore that followed the incident’. The verdict compounded the omissions around the case by not addressing the violence at its heart. Nor did Stokes, apologising only ‘to my team-mates, coaches and support staff’, and then ‘to England supporters and to the public for bringing the game into disrepute’.
The implicit next step was to rebuild that reputation. It might have been easier had his court defence not meant that he wasn’t game to admit any fault at all. It might have been easier if he or his advisers had been willing to change tack once the trial was done. Imagine a world where Stokes had stood outside court and apologised for overreacting, for the injuries he’d caused, and for the time and energy he had sucked out of other people’s lives. That would have been a show of responsibility beyond a scorecard. When the time came around to assess forgiveness, it might have meant forgiveness was deserved.

Magic items. Objects imbued with magic in order to make them better, or even gain a completely different function. But apparently the only places they exist are in monster hoards and adventurers' backpacks.
Realistically however, everyone wants things that are better at what they do. And eventually, people get what they want.
Today i will go over some objects that are useful outside of the context of adventuring, as well as how they might change the world around them. I will not mention artifacts, since those are one-of-a-kind objects with pre-established locations, usage, etc.
While the topic has always existed, Tasha's Cauldron has added a few interesting toys to our proverbial tool box, which makes this as good a time as any to take a look and
Much like in the Spells and Society post, the rarer an item the more amazingly powerful it must be to be worthy of mention. Actually i recommend reading that post before this one. Since a lot of magic items just allow you to cast spells for free, knowing which spells alter the world gives a good idea of which items can do the same.

Uncommon

+1 tools.
That's right, +1 tools. Not +1 weapons.
Consider a guard. How much of his time is actually spent fighting? A minute every other day? That's not getting a lot of use out of his sword. Even a soldier spends weeks marching, or months guarding a fort, and then only fights for a few minutes or hours. Even if a guard has a superb weapon that doubles his combat effectiveness, it only makes him 1% or 2% better at being a guard[1]. Given a choice of uncommon item, any guard and most soldiers would rather have a Weapon of Warning to prevent being backstabbed, ambushed or caught off-guard.
Now consider a lumberjack or miner. They spend several hours a day hitting trees and rocks. An enchanted axe, saw or pickaxe would see continuous use in their hands. Not only that, magic items are also described as being "at least as durable as a nonmagical item of its kind. Most magic items, other than potions and scrolls, have resistance to all damage". This means the +1 pickaxe would be far, far more resilient to wear and tear than a mundane one, potentially being passed down for generations. And with your miners and lumberjacks being more efficient, you need less of them. Which in turn means you get to have more guards.
Another noteworthy thing here is adamantine items. They deal automatic critical damage to objects and are much harder to destroy. In other words, they're great at chopping trees and ores, bending hot metal, cutting cloth, plowing a field, etc. All while having a fraction of the wear and tear.
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Bags of Holding, Handy Haversacks and Portable Holes.
AKA your transporty boyes.
The bag of holding is an old favorite among players, and the reason is obvious: it has a million uses.
Most adventurers use it for carrying all their junk. The bad guys in the original Baldurs Gate game used bags of holding to smuggle whole shipments to and from their iron mine base with just one guy. One of my players once put a huge boulder in it, then flew up and dropped the boulder on an enemy transport ship. And let us not forget the classic Arrowhead of Total Destruction.
All of these are perfectly valid uses. Smuggling a small object is easier than smuggling a large object. Dropping huge objects from a high place turns anything that flies into a siege weapon. And the Arrowhead, while expensive, can deal with very large threats that could level a city.
But honestly, every merchant is a smuggler at heart. After all, as long as brigands roam the roads, there will always be a need to hide your valuables in an extraplanar space small enough to fit any orifice. Not only that, the bag allows you to dump a cart entirely and just ride to your destination much faster (and therefore, more safely).
Of course not every merchant can afford a bag of holding, so this brings about an interesting topic of inequality in your campaign. Some merchants can go from A to B faster and more safely on a horse, while the majority must go with a bull-drawn cart that is slow and vulnerable. And bags of holding don't even require attunement, so once you have one and your income soars you can get another, and another... Its a serious rich-get-richer situation, and you risk running all the mundane merchants out of business.
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Broom of Flying.
I'm gonna start this one with saying that brooms of flying and carpets of flying are overpowered. They are consistently better than items of similar rarity that provide the same benefit, like boots and wings of flying. The reason here is, in my humble opinion, the same reason why Fireball deals more damage than any 3rd level spell and most 5th level ones: its iconic.
As for the item itself, its pretty much a permanent flying speed of 50 while carrying up to 200lbs, or 30ft. speed while carrying 201-400lbs. Its a deliveryboy's dream... except not.
You see, the broom of flying isn't just a hoverbike, its also a drone. You say the command word, and it flies up to a mile a way. Say it again, it comes back. In other words, the crazy wizard in his tower can just tie some money and a note on the broom and send it to a shop, then call it back once the shopkeeper has tied the groceries to it. Poor delivery boy just lost his job.
But wait, there's more! If the broom can fly on its own, can it plow a field? Can it spin an "animal" traction mill? The answer is: yes. But there's no reason to use magic where a common animal would do, unless its a crazy high magic setting or something.
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Decanter of Endless Water
I think anyone can see how infinite water is broken as fuck[2]. But that's not all. By speaking the command word and pulling the lid, you can cause 30 gallons (136.4 litres) of water to pour out with enough force to push a 200 pound object 15 feet. This action can be repeated every turn (6 seconds), since a decanter of endless water has no limit on how often it can be used.
So a decanter is not just infinite water, but also infinite energy provided you have enough technology to build a mill. Even more energy if you activate the decanter in a high place and use gravity to give those 30 gallons even more potential.
Do keep in mind however that in 5e there must be someone using their action to activate it every turn. In previous editions however one could leave the decanter open and it would pour water constantly.
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Hat of Disguise
This wee cap is not game-breaking for its great usefulness, but rather for its ability to fuck the world up. Any charlatan with a Hat of Disguise can walk into a bank, guild, ship, etc. and pretend to be anyone. Sure it doesn't happen often, but when it happens the crime spree is enormous. And while there are ways to work around disguised criminals, the fact people have to work around it is an issue in and of itself.
Societies based on trust pretty much can't function. Does everyone sign everything? Do people start using IDs? Do organizations start using items or employing animals that can see through illusions? Is there an industry for door frames that detect illusions?
Even without the hat, Disguise Self is still a 1st level spell. Yet somehow the sourcebooks have no mention of how the world might adapt to the idea that you can't trust people to be who they seem to be. And if anyone with access to 1st-level spells can walk up to the king without difficulties, you wont have kings for long.
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Ring of Mind Shielding
A great item, if you're an asshole. Keeps people from sensing your evil alignment, keeps them from reading your evil thoughts, keeps pesky zones of truth from sensing your lies, and it even makes itself invisible so nobody can notice you're wearing the "i am evil" ring. It even keeps your immortal soul from going into eternal damnation!
One thing i always think of soul-trapping items is that they're a good way for evil people to avoid the afterlife. If you're good, you want to go to Celestia, Elysium, Arborea or Ysgard. Yet if you're evil, being stuck in a ring and talking to its wearer might be better than Baator, Carceri or the Abyss.
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Sending Stones
Another classic, unfortunately the stones were nerfed and now can only Send to each other once a day.
Still, long range communication is nothing to scoff at. And while hiring someone to Send for you is cheaper, the stones provide more privacy and can be sent to far off corners of the world where you can't afford to station a caster full time.
Expect each mayor or baron to have one of these, while someone in the capital answers their "calls". Something of a royal secretary if you will. While magic items are expensive, shaving days off of your disaster response time can be the difference between having a kingdom and having ruins.

Rare

Bag of Beans
An often overlooked item, the BoB is crazy powerful. It has 3d4 beans, each of which can trigger a random effect. Notably they have a 10% chance of creating a random potion that lasts 30 days, a 10% chance of creating 1d4+3 eggs that can permanently raise an attribute by 1[3], a 9% chance of spawning a full on pyramid with a mummy lord and appropriate loot[4], and a 1% chance of leading anywhere.
Why bother with tomes when you can get twice as many stats from a bag of beans?
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Helm of Teleportation.
1d3 castings of Teleport every day, plain and simple. That means 9 people can travel about 14 times in a week[5].
That's a lot of potential trading to be had for sure, but why stop there?
Say your kingdom spent tons of time and money training and equipping an elite unit. You wouldn't want them to spend 80% of their time on the road and 20% solving issues right? One rare item can make your 9-men unit five times more efficient.
Adventurers are in much the same boat: small group, lots of capital invested into their gear and training, yet they somehow spend most of their time going back and forth between adventures (until level 9 if they have a bard, sorcerer or wizard in the party, past 9 if they don't). It honestly amazes me that the Helm of Teleportation is not listed more often as a must-have party item.
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Manuals/Tomes
For those unaware: there are 3 manuals and 3 tomes in the game, each increases an attribute by 2 when used and then loses its magic for 100 years.
The #1 item on any adventurer's to-get list, the existence of the tomes raises far more questions than answers. Who makes these? Why are they not mass produced? Can i get a magically accelerated demiplane, throw the books in and recharge them in a fraction of the time? Why do people not abuse the f*** out of them?
And when i mean abuse, i mean make smart use of them. Say a kingdom has, over the course of generations, acquired 5 or so tomes. Then the ruler reads them and becomes super smart/wise/popular. That sounds like the sort of thing that would make the whole realm prosper. Do it on an elven/dwarven kingdom and the ruler can read his tomes multiple times, granting him a godlike mind.
And that's without considering the idea of immortals. Or even high level druids. Any lich or vampire could become insanely powerful, not only from being able to use each tome a dozen times, but also from having eons to look for more or even craft them[6].
One thing i really like about tomes is watching the party decide what to do with them after spending the magic. Do they auction the books? Trade with some elf for favors? Give it to a friendly vampire?

Very rare

Candle of Invocation
For 4 hours clerics and druid of the proper alignment within 30ft can cast 1st level spells without using spell slots. In other words, crazy amounts of healing. Pop one after a battle and in a few minutes your whole army will be ready for more. Or pop it during a battle, and have the Healing Word the crap out of your troops from a safe-ish distance.
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Carpet of flying, Peregrine Mask
Carpets of flying function much like brooms of flying, except they are faster or carry more weight (depending on size). They would be a strict upgrade, except they lack the drone function the broom has.
A peregrine mask provides a flying speed of 60, but has no carrying capacity. That means if you have a Powerful Build or a similar feature it can actually carry more than the carpets.
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Cauldron of Rebirth
If there's one thing Tasha's Cauldron has brought us, its this cauldron.
It has some minor uses for scrying making potions, but here's the deal breaker: you put a corpse in the cauldron, fill it with 10gp worth of salt (200lbs.) and it casts Raise Dead on the creature.
Resurrection normally costs 500gp. worth of diamonds. With the cauldron it costs 10gp worth of salt. Sure there's a one week cooldown, but who cares? I see two scenarios here: either a resurrection every week is more than the local demand, or less than the local demand.
If its more than the demand, that means everyone who dies of unnatural causes and has 10gp to spare gets resurrected.
If its less than the demand, that means you're raising one person every 7 days. Depending on how high the demand is you could be making as much as 500gp a week, or 26k a year. Considering that the DMG says a Very Rare magic item costs 10.000-50.000 gold, the cauldron can pay for itself in under two years. Even if the math is way off for some reason, it is still crazy strong.
Honestly, this should be an artifact. Or at least have some heavy downside. The idea that someone over at Wizards of the Coast read this and said "Ah yes, 10gp resurrection, perfectly fine" simply boggles the mind.
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Crystalline Chronicle
Speaking of items that make things cheap, 1d3 times a day this spellbook allows you to cast a wizard spell without material components of up to 100gp.
That means two spells on average, so let's take a look at a few good options: Continual Flame[7], Magic Circle (exactly 100!), Stoneskin (100!), Teleportation Circle and Astral Projection.
The ones that stand out here are Continual Flame and Teleportation Circle. Both cost 50 and have a huge demand in the world. Where a permanent TP circle would normally consume 18.250gp worth of materials over a year, it will now cost nothing[8].

Legendary

Staff of the Magi
This is, i think, the most powerful item in the game.
Has a bunch of charges, yadda yadda, here's the important part:

1. When someone else casts a spell on you, you can use a reaction to absorb the spell. The staff then gains charges equal to the level of the spell it just ate.
   
2. It can cast Plane Shift for 7 charges.
   

This means on an average day you get 16 charges, or two Plane Shifts, from the natural charge generation. But what if you could have someone cast spells on you without spending spell slots?
There are several monsters who can cast spells at will, too many to list. But there are also a few ways for players to do it. The first that comes to mind is the level 18 Wizard feature Spell Mastery, allowing any 2nd level spell. There's also the level 15 invocation Shroud of Shadow that allows infinite casts of Invisibility. Either case allows a duo to have infinite Plane Shifts a day, which is really powerful.
As usual, trade comes to mind. But with infinite charges you might as well start a tourism agency or a hotel and/or casino that brings in people from all planes. Yet what few people realize is that Plane Shift can be used offensively in order to permanently banish anyone to any plane. Infinite save-or-die effects.
You could also just settle for a fuckton of Shifts instead of infinite, and use a warlock or four-elements monk to convert their short rest resources into charges for the staff.
Now think of the possibilities and plot hooks. Mad king banishing dissidents, Red Queen style. Alternative death sentence. A high level wizard/warlock stranded somewhere because the guy who was attuned to the staff died or got separated from him. Random archdemon bringing an army to the Material Plane a couple demons a minute.

Notable mentions

These are items i left out, but which i will get yelled at in the comments if i "forget" about them.
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Anything that creates energy
The truth is that a lot of magic items can do that. Fire for heating things, wind or water for pushing things, etc. For an energy source to be noteworthy it has to provide a considerable amount of continuous energy, without charges or daily limitations. Otherwise you might as well just use a regular water mill or a bull.
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Alchemy Jug (uncommon)
It creates an amount of a liquid (beer, honey, etc) every day. It does nothing that cannot be done by an amount of workers, and for it to be world-altering we'd have to go into a lengthy math argument of how many labor hours of a bee farmer are needed to make a gallon of honey, and how that compares to the initial investment of hiring a wizard to make the item.
As a general rule, if something can be done mundanely it will be done mundanely. Let the casters focus on stuff where they have an infinite comparative advantage, like flying stuff, teleportation, resurrection, etc.
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Cap of Water Breathing (uncommon)
It allows you to breathe underwater indefinitely. Can be great if you have important stuff to do underwater, and might enable interaction with sentient water folk. But in and of itself, not a world-altering item.
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Horseshoes of Speed (rare)
Essentially +30 speed for hooved creatures, without requiring attunement. Honestly this item does not really fit this list, but i just thought the idea of pegasi flying real fast with these was worth mentioning. Sure a helm of teleportation outclasses it entirely for travel, but that's not useful in combat.
And i really want to play a centaur monk with these some day. Unfortunately the item description specifically says you have to have four equipped to benefit, so don't even think about it you satyrs and tieflings out there.
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Lyre of Building (rare)
At a glance this looks like a regular magic items, with nothing too weird about it. Until you look at its spell selection and notice you can cast them as an action.
Mending normally takes a minute to cast, with the lyre its an action, and you can do it at will even without knowing the spell.
Fabricate takes ten minutes to cast, with the lyre its an action. That means once a day you can turn the ground under an enemy into a spiky cage, his sword into sword parts, etc. Until the lyre came about the only way to instantly cast fabricate was with a Wish, and that is a pretty good combat use of the 9th level spell.

Conclusion

To be quite frank, a lot of these item uses are a little niche and wont work in every setting. Then again, that that is never the goal with these posts. I hope i have provided you with at least a few interesting plot hooks and other crazy ideas, whether to amaze your players or ruin your DM's plans.

Notes

[1] There is a notable exception however. If your kingdom has a group dedicated to fighting monsters, some of which are resistant to nonmagic damage, then those guys should be prioritized. Not only does the +1 weapon double their damage output in this scenario, it also prevents your kingdom from losing special soldiers that are very expensive to train and replace.
[2] Stuff like constant abuse of Decanters of Endless Water are why in my setting there is a doomsayer cult that believes the world will be flooded some day. As they say it, every time someone activates a decanter, magically creates water, creates food and water, opens a portal to the Plane of Water, etc; the amount of water in the world rises just a bit. Given enough time, everything will be flooded by it. Unless someone like, puts a Sphere of Annihilation by the shore or something. But nobody said the cult has to be right.
[3] The bag has 3d4 beans. Each bean has a 10% chance of spawning 1d4+3 eggs. That means 7.5*0.1*5.5 = 4.125 raised stats, on average. Sure I'm assuming you'll pass the DC20 save every time, but with proper preparation its quite doable. Be near a paladin, get bardicly inspired, have someone cast Resistance, find ways to reroll a failed save, etc. Since the eggs last forever, you have all the time in the world to stack the saving throw in your favor. Or just use Portents.
[4] The mummy lord could have anything, even another bag of beans!
[5] Someone will say "but what about the chance of going off target? What if nobody has teleportation circles?" To that person i say: associated object. Get a pebble every time you're in a region, and you wont need a circle. Buy a bit of silk and you can teleport to any place along the silk road. Buy a used horseshoe and you can go all over the country. Now I'm just imagining this badass-looking special-ops soldier, clad in the finest plate, wielding a blazing blade, his cloak cackling thunder... and with a rusty-ass horseshoe tied to his helmet.
[6] And thus is born the legend of Swolomon the Buff. He was once a base vampire, who got stuck in a tomb for 4000 years with nothing but a Manual of Bodily Health and a Manual of Gainly Exercise. Now he's... selling supplements or something.
[7] See On Spells and Society linked at the top for why there's a near infinite demand for Continual Flame.
[8] You can even make two circles at a time, but there's some math about it. You have 3 charges, use 2, so you should always be with one to spare. Until you roll a 1 on the d3, and then its gone. After that whenever you roll a 1 without first rolling a 3 you'll have to pay the 50gp or let the circle go to waste. In other words, you'd be paying roughly 1/6 of the regular cost.

Perhaps nowhere does storytelling so totally reverse reality as when it deals with pirates. It’s difficult not to like swashbuckling rogues tweaking the noses of the uptight British ninnies as they ply their brave way across the wild, lusty seas.
Of course, actual pirates were about as romantic as the tortures they would inflict on prisoners, including holding lighted matches to the victim’s eyes or keel-hauling, where a sailor had a rope tied to each arm and thrown off the bow of a ship. The unfortunate was then dragged along the length of ship, scraping against the sharp barnacles and probably drowning.
Fun fact: “Avast!” means “Stop!” or “Stand still!” not “Hello, fellow pirate!”

21. Corsair by Chris Bunch – 2001

Swashbuckling captain Gareth Radnor has taken command of the Steadfast. But the young captain intends more than seeking his fortune. He wants vengeance against the Linyati slavers who murdered his family. Crewed by a motley band of adventurers, his carrack plunges through the salty waves, striking at the Linyati wherever it can.
And then he discovers something more compelling even than revenge: The Linyati aren’t human…

“Hard edged, salty… a fantasy adventure that will keep you up at night reading.”
—Terry Brooks, author of the Shannara series

20. The Mark of Ran by Paul Kearne – 2004

Book 1 of 2 in The Sea Beggars Series
In a world abandoned by its Creator, an ancient race once existed, with powers so extensive that they were seen as both angles and demons. Rol Cortishane was raised in a remote fishing village, ignorant that the blood of this long-forgotten race runs in his veins. Driven from home, Rol is trained in the assassin’s craft and tutored by the beautiful but troubled Rowen. Now they’ve set their sights across the sea in search of the Hidden City and an adventure that will make them legends, if it doesn’t kill them first.
In the non-fantasy world, the Sea Beggars (the name of this series) really existed. They were a confederacy of Dutch nobles, who, from 1566, opposed Spanish rule in the Netherlands. They arrived in large numbers to complain to the king, but some wit told the ruling Spanish regent not to worry, for the large group was “only beggars.” The angry group of nobles did not forget the appellation and henceforth called themselves the Beggars. The most successful Beggars operated at sea (i.e., were pirates) and were known as the Sea Beggars.

19. Of Shadow and Sea by Will Wight – 2015

Book 1 of 2 in The Elder Empire Series
The Guild of Navigators (i.e., swindlers and pirates) has been paid a fortune to secure the Heart, a cursed artifact that will give wild power to its bearer. The Guild’s only lord is greed, their only loyalty to gold, and they would sell the Empire’s freedom for the promise of a quick coin.
Author Will Wight is well regarded for his likable characters and irreverent tone. Most epic fantasies tend to be high-minded and serious, but Wight has a decidedly more down-to-earth approach.

18. Pirate Latitudes by Michael Crichton – 2009

I’m not a giant Michael Crichton fan. Generally, I think his ideas and research are more interesting than the actual books he creates. This one’s fun, though.
This book was unknown until after Crichton’s death—his assistant found it on a computer. However, there’s evidence Crichton was working on it, on and off, since the 1970s.
Pirate Latitudes is a caper novel set in the high seas with a strong regard to the reality of the times. Because of this, it probably doesn’t belong in a fantasy list like this one. However, it’s a damn fine pirate tale, and that’s good enough for me.
The Historical Novel Society notes: “Crichton’s portrayal of Port Royal and its inhabitants is far more grounded in reality than Disney’s portrayal. Crichton does not gloss over the slavery, addiction and brutality of colonial Jamaica, nor does he endow his characters with abilities beyond their training or station in life.”
So don’t expect Jack Sparrow.

17. The Fox by Sherwood Smith – 2007

Book 2 of 4 in the Inda Series
You might want to read the first book in the series, Inda, before diving into this one.
Young prince and military genius Inda, forced to turn mercenary after conspirators engineered his exile from Choraed Elgaer, is gathering allies for a sea campaign against the piratical Brotherhood. But Inda’s attention soon shifts toward the ambitious Venn Empire, which wants to use him as a political pawn.
The hardcover version of this book is significantly cheaper than the paperback. Go figure.

“[L]ively… spare yet complex characterizations and a narrative that balances sweeping action and uneasy intimacy.”
—Publishers Weekly

16. Retribution Falls by Chris Wooding – 2011

Book 1 of 3 in the Tales of the Ketty Jay Series
This is magical steampunk, so it’s a little nuts. I mean that as a compliment.
Sky piracy is a bit out of Darian Frey’s league. Fate has not been kind to the captain of the airship Ketty Jay—or his motley crew. They are all running from something. Crake is a daemonist in hiding, traveling with an armored golem and burdened by guilt. Jez is the new navigator, desperate to keep her secret from the rest of the crew. Malvery is a disgraced doctor, drinking himself to death. So when an opportunity arises to steal a chest of gems from a vulnerable airship, Frey can’t pass it up. It’s an easy take—and the payoff will finally make him a rich man.
But when the attack goes horribly wrong, Frey suddenly finds himself the most wanted man in Vardia, trailed by bounty hunters, the elite Century Knights, and the dread queen of the skies, Trinica Dracken. Frey realizes that they’ve been set up to take a fall but doesn’t know the endgame. And the ultimate answer for captain and crew may lie in the legendary hidden pirate town of Retribution Falls. That’s if they can get there without getting blown out of the sky.

“Beautifully crafted prose and some remarkably imaginative scenes…and Wooding’s sprawling, multifaceted world and rough-and-tumble action will delight steampunk fans.”
—Publishers Weekly (starred review)

15. The King’s Buccaneer by Raymond E. Feist – 1992

Book 5 of the Riftwar Cycle
Long recovered from the ravages of the Riftwar, the land and people of the kingdom of the Isles thrive. Nicholas, the youngest son of Prince Arutha, is intelligent and gifted but vastly inexperienced. In hopes of hardening him, his father sends him and his irreverent squire, Harry, to live at rustic Castle Crydee to learn of life beyond the halls of privilege. But within weeks of Nicholas and Harry’s arrival, Crydee is viciously attacked by unknown assailants, resulting in murder, massive destruction, and the abduction of two young noblewomen. The raiders have come from a pirate haven and are no ordinary foe, while an enemy connected to dark magical forces threaten the lands Nicholas will someday rule—if he survives.

“Feist once again delivers a superior, rousing adventure.”
—Publishers Weekly

14. The Pyrates by George MacDonald Fraser – 1983

The Pyrates is satire, send-up, and love-letter to what swashbucklers have become. It’s a Naked Gun take on Errol Flynn pirates. If you don’t know what “Naked Gun” or “Errol Flynn” is then I envy you because you’re about to discover some great stuff.

13. Isle of Swords by Wayne Thomas Batson – 2008

Book 1 of 3 in the Isle Chronicles
Captain Declan Ross searched for riches that will free him and his headstrong daughter, Anne, from the piracy business forever. Bartholomew Thorne, an infamously ruthless pirate, seeks to destroy Ross and any who stand in his way of the legendary treasure hidden by a mysterious order of monks.
Despite featuring a scene where a monk gets skinned alive, this book won a “Mom’s Choice Award” for family-friendly entertainment. Depends on the family, I guess.

12. Red Seas Under Red Skies by Scott Lynch – 2007

Book 2 of 3 in the Gentlemen Bastards Series
Initially poised to rob the Sinspire, the notoriously thief-proof casino where the penalty for cheating is death, Locke and his partner, Jean, are unwillingly sidetracked into joining and then leading a pirate crew, swindling their way across the sea as they had previously done on land.

“[C]harming, unpredictable and fast on its feet and stands surprisingly well on its own given its convoluted plot.”
—Publishers Weekly

11. Pirate Freedom by Gene Wolfe – 2007

Fresh from the monastery, the former novice finds himself inexplicably transported back to the Golden Age of Piracy, where an unexpected new life awaits him. At first, he resists joining the notorious Brethren of the Coast, but he soon embraces the life of a buccaneer, even as he succumbs to the seductive charms of a beautiful and enigmatic señorita. As the captain of his own possibly cursed ship, he plunders the West Indies in search of Spanish gold. From the stormy waters of the Caribbean to steamy tropical jungles, Captain Chris finds danger, passion, adventure, and treachery as he hoists the black flag and sets sail for the Spanish mainland.
Where he will finally come to port only God knows…

“Wolfe…[fills] his story with duels, treachery, ship-to-ship combat and an abundance of accurate period detail.”
—Publishers Weekly

10. The Red Wolf Conspiracy by Robert V. S. Redick – 2008

Book 1 of 4 in the Cathrand Voyage Series
Six hundred years old, the Imperial merchant ship Chathrand is a massive floating outpost of the Empire of Arqual. And it is on its most vital mission yet: to deliver a young woman whose marriage will seal the peace between Arqual and its mortal enemy, the Mzithrin Empire. But Thasha, the young noblewoman in question, may be bringing her swords to the altar.
For the ship’s true mission is not peace but war—a war that threatens to rekindle an ancient power long thought lost. As the Chathrand navigates treacherous waters, Thasha must seek unlikely allies—including a magic-cursed deckhand, a stowaway tribe of foot-high warriors, and a singularly heroic rat—and enter a treacherous web of intrigue to uncover the secret of the legendary Red Wolf.

“Insane god-kings, miniature warriors and sentient animals fight over a powerful ancient artifact in Redick’s dramatic, complex debut… Both adult and young adult readers will find much to enjoy in this tale of sea-faring and bloody diplomacy.”
—Publishers Weekly

9. Captain Blood by Rafael Sabatini – 1922

Book 1 of 3 in the Captain Blood Series
This book is a little more subtle than its title would suggest.
Dr. Peter Blood, is an Irish physician who was once a sailor and a soldier. In the aftermath of the Monmouth rebellion, Dr. Blood is arrested for treason. While he did not actually participate in the rebellion, rather he aided a wounded rebel, he is tried and convicted nonetheless. The sentence for treason is death, but King James II has the sentence commuted and instead sells Captain Blood and his fellow rebels into slavery.

“Glorious… I never enjoyed a novel more than Captain Blood.”
—Norman Mailer

8. The Assassin’s Curse by Cassandra Rose Clark – 2012

Book 1 of 2 in The Assassin’s Curse Series
Ananna abandons ship when her parents try to marry her off to an allying pirate clan. She wants to captain her own boat, not serve as second-in-command to her handsome yet clueless fiancé. But her escape has dire consequences when she learns the scorned clan has sent an assassin after her.
And when the assassin Naji finally catches up with her, things get even worse. Ananna inadvertently triggers a nasty curse—with a life-altering result. Now Ananna and Naji are forced to become uneasy allies as they work together to break the curse and return their lives back to normal. Or at least as normal as the lives of a pirate and an assassin can be.

“Clarke’s debut harkens back to the best in fantasy/adventure, offering rock-solid worldbuilding, satisfyingly perilous obstacles and a protagonist whose charismatic ’tude goes way beyond spunk. Ananna’s voice grabs readers from the beginning…and doesn’t let go.”
—Kirkus (starred review)

7. Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb – 1998

Book 1 of 3 in The Liveship Traders Series
Bingtown is a hub of exotic trade and home to a merchant nobility famed for its liveships—rare vessels carved from wizardwood, which ripens magically into sentient awareness. Now the fortunes of one of Bingtown’s oldest families rest on the newly awakened liveship, Vivacia.
For Althea Vestrit, the ship is her rightful legacy. But the fate of Althea and the ship may ultimately lie in the hands of a ruthless buccaneer who plans to seize power over the Pirate Isles by capturing a liveship and bending it to his will.

6. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne – 1870

While his description of this new thing called a “submarine” is fun even for modern readers, it’s the brilliant but tortured Captain Nemo who steals the show as one of, if not the, best pirate in English literature.

5. The Walrus & the Warwolf by Hugh Cook – 1988

Book 4 of 6 in the Chronicles of an Age of Darkness Series
On his 16th birthday, churlish Drake Douay finds himself exiled from his homeland amid a treacherous crew of pirates on the open sea. Through battles with sea monsters, mysterious cults, weird technology of a bygone age, and the warring gangs of two pirate lords, Drake explores a world of dark fantasy and betrayal with his keen wit and a sharp sword—his only protection from an early death.
Readers are usually divided: this is either one of their favorite books, or the long litany of adventures becomes boring after a while.

4. Throne of the Crescent Moon by Saladin Ahmed – 2012

Book 1 in the Crescent Moon Kingdoms Series
A finalist for the Hugo, Nebula, Crawford, Gemmell, and British Fantasy Awards, and the winner of the Locus Award for Best First Novel.
The Crescent Moon Kingdoms, home to djenn and ghuls, holy warriors and heretics, are at the boiling point of a power struggle between the iron-fisted Khalif and the mysterious master thief known as the Falcon Prince. In the midst of this brewing rebellion, a series of brutal supernatural murders strikes at the heart of the Kingdoms. But these killings are only the earliest signs of a plot for the Throne of the Crescent Moon that threatens to turn the great city of Dhamsawwaat, and the world itself, into a blood-soaked ruin.

“Ahmed’s debut masterfully paints a world both bright and terrible.”
—Publishers Weekly (starred review)

3. Mad Kestrel by Misty Massey – 2008

In a world where infants with magical powers are torn from their parents to be raised by the mysterious and powerful Danisoba, who have a monopoly on magic, Kestrel has managed to keep her abilities concealed—and herself free. First hiding in back alleys as a street urchin, she hid when they killed her parents, and then served as a young tavern maid before escaping to sea, where magic is cancelled by water.
Now an adult, and the quartermaster of a pirate ship, Kestrel loves the freedom of living on the seas. But her way of life could end if anyone on board learns her closely guarded secret—that she has magical control over the wind.
One day a black ship appears, and her life changes. Its captain is a handsome rogue of whom Kestrel is strangely, constantly aware. When Kestrel’s captain is led into a trap and is arrested, she gathers her crew and sets sail in relentless pursuit…

“This rollicking debut combines swashbuckling sea adventure, fantasy and romance with great success.”
—Publishers Weekly

2. Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie – 1904

Sure, Peter Pan and Tinkerbell are great, but it’s the enmity of the pirate Captain Hook that makes this story exciting.

1. On Stranger Tides by Tim Powers – 1987

This is the inspiration of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie, but it’s different in many ways and stands well on its own.
Puppeteer John Chandagnac, bound for Jamaica to recover stolen money from his uncle, becomes Jack Shandy after pirates attack his ship and force him to join their crew. Shandy’s struggle to accept his new life grounds the story for readers, even as Blackbeard and vodun magicians whisk everyone away to dreamlike lands where the Fountain of Youth itself awaits.

“Powers writes action and adventure that Indiana Jones could only dream of.”
—Washington Post

Blog link.

Part 1 here
In this part, we saw Rey Mysterio jump onto the scene of NJPW. He started off hot, taking on his two amigos in Jushin Thunder Liger and Hiroshi Tanahashi respectively. At King of Pro-Wrestling, he defeated Liger - but fell to The Ace in a match for his G1 Climax briefcase. He then won the IWGP United States Championship off of Cody to end his offspring of Bullet Club, and would embark on a title reign. He successfully defended against Bandido last time we saw him, and now he moves onto his next challenger.
Book Rey Mysterio If He Never Joined WWE in 2018 - Part 2: Booyaka
G1 Supercard:
Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Tomohiro Ishii - IWGP United States Championship
Rey Mysterio skips out on the New Japan Cup, and instead prepares for the G1 Supercard. It will be the biggest show NJPW have held in America, and since he’s the United States Champion he will be defending. Rey ventures off to GCW for Joey Janela’s Spring Break, taking part in the Clusterfuck as a surprise entrant. On Night Two, after Janela faces off with Jungle Boy - he calls out Rey to a match for a later date. Mysterio doesn’t respond, instead he’s in Madison Square Garden to face off against a New Japan semi-finalist, Tomohiro Ishii. He lost to Okada in the semis, and is angry. He wants to take his anger out on someone, and the IWGP United States Champion is his next victim.
He fought in the inaugural title match but came up short to Kenny Omega, but now he has his chance to become the first Japanese man to hold it. After seeing Mayu Iwatani retain the Women of Honor Championship, we move to our next match - as Tomohiro Ishii walks out to a loud MSG pop. In the front row are Mysterio’s daughter, Aalyah and his wife. Then we see his son, Dominick, as a young lion at ringside. He got kicked in the head by Minoru Suzuki earlier so he’s just having a great time. They’re dad then enters out in the same gear he wore to the actual WrestleMania that weekend, as the villain “Mysterio” from Spider-Man Homecoming. He walks out with the gold Tomohiro lusts for, and rolls inside to pose with it on the second rope.
The bell is rung and Mysterio goes to lock up - BUT ISHII GRABS HIM INTO A RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!! HE FOLLOWS WITH A BRIDGING GERMAN!! 1.........2.....KICK OUT BY REY REY!!! Mysterio is shocked at the sudden attack, and scurries up in the corner. ISHII GOES FOR A CLOTHESLINE BUT REY TURNS IT INTO A CRUCIFIX PIN!!! 1........ISHII KICKS OUT AND IS HIT BY A ROUNDHOUSE KICK!! REY WITH A HEADSCISSORS TAKEDOWN!! Rey regains and takes a moment to intake what’s happening, and GOES FOR A SHIRANUI!! ISHII COUNTERS WITH A SPIKE DDT!!! 1..............2..........KICK OUT INTO A POWERBOMB!!!! 1.............2..........TOMOHIRO LOCKS IN A BOSTON CRAB!! There is no escape for Mysterio from this rabid dog - who is hungry. Ishii locks in the hold and cinches it tighter.
REY GOES TO FLIP HIM OUT, BUT ISHII GETS RIGHT BACK UP AND HITS HIM WITH A BOOT TO THE HEAD!! ISHII LIFTS HIM UP INTO A SNAP SUPLEX!! Tomohiro Ishii is now on the hunt, as he starts to unleash chops. OPEN HAND TO THE CHEST!! Rey falls to the mat, but is scooped back up into OVERHEAD CHOP!! Rey crumples to the mat again and starts to cough. ISHII THROWS HIM OUTSIDE INTO THE ARMS OF HIS SON!! ISHII THEN WITH A BIG BOOT ON THE FLOOR TO DOMINICK, AND THROWS HIM INTO THE APRON!! Ishii looks down at the fallen young boy - BUT IS THEN HIT BY A ENZIGURI FROM REY!!! MYSTERIO HITS A FRONT DROPKICK INTO THE RING POST!! HE THROWS HIM BACK INSIDE AND DIVES WITH A FROGSPLASH!!! 1.............2..........KICK OUT!!! ISHII ROLLS THROUGH AND LIFTS MYSTERIO UP INTO A VERTICAL SUPLEX!!! 1...........MYSTERIO GETS OUT!!!
The crowd are going nuts at these two guys fighting spirit. ISHII GOES FOR A GERMAN SUPLEX, BUT REY FLIPS OUT AND HITS A HEADSCISSORS!! HE GOES FOR A 619 - BUT ISHII SPINS HIM TO THE OUTSIDE!! TOMOHIRO RUNS THE ROPES, BUT IS HIT BY A SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY!! He lifts Ishii up and runs the ropes, TO HIT A BULLDOG!! INTO A TORNADO DDT!! He calls for a 619, as Ishii crawls to the ropes. HE HITS IT!! HE DIVES FOR THE SEATED SENTON - BUT NO NECK TOM CATCHES AND HITS A BRAINBUSTER!!! 1...............2..............MYSTERIO KICKS OUT!!! Everyone explodes that Rey kicked out, and Ishii is still that angry dog - but he just got a whiff of a juicy steak. Tom lifts him up, looks him dead in his dead eyes - AND HEADBUTTS HIM TO SHIT!!
ISHII FURTHER TARGETS THE HEAD WITH AN ENZIGURI!! HE RUNS FOR A LARIAT, BUT REY DUCKS AND HITS A MYSTERIO-RANA!! ISHII KICKS OUT AND ROLLS INTO THAT LARIAT!!! ISHII GOES FOR A BRAINBUSTER, BUT MYSTERIO EVADES AND HITS THE MYSTERIO-EXPRESS!! ISHII NO SELLS AND IS HIT BY A ENZIGURI!! ISHII NO SELLS AND HITS REY WITH A THREE AMIGOS!! He mocks his fallen friend Eddie with those moves - and that fuels Rey’s fire. REY WITH A SPRINGBOARD SEATED SENTON!! HE HITS A HEADSCISSORS AND CALLS FOR A 619!!! HE CONNECTS!!! SPRINGBOARD SPLASH!!!! 1...........2........KICK OUT!!!!!! ISHII LIFTS HIMSELF UP WITH A PRIMAL ROAR, AN HITS THE ISHII DRILLER!!!!! 1................2................3!!!! TOMOHIRO ISHII WINS AND BECOMES YOUR NEW, AND FIRST EVER JAPANESE, IWGP UNITED STATES CHAMPION!!!!
Tomohiro Ishii defeats Rey Mysterio (12:51)
PROGRESS Chapter 88: Super Strong Style 16:
Marty Scurll vs. Rey Mysterio
With his United States Championship lost, ending his 92 day reign, Mysterio heads away from Japan for a while to regain himself. He’s confirmed to show up at PROGRESS‘ Super Strong Style, but later revealed that he won’t actually participate - instead wrestle on the last night in a standard singles match with no prizes but merit. Meanwhile, his opponent is scheduled to be...Marty Scurll. A man who hasn’t appeared in PROGRESS in a long while, mainly because he’s in the middle of a ROH World Championship reign. Having begun his reign in June of 2018, Marty still holds it. He’ll return to PROGRESS for this night however, as he wants to face Rey…badly. After Dominion last year when Rey lost to Marty, he’s wanted to defeated him one on one. A year of wait, and he finally gets his chance. The ultimate hero vs. The ultimate villain, it’s like a comic book finale.
In the lead up, Marty cuts a promo on Mysterio. In it he is as snivelling as ever, offering his wife Angie a night with him and calling Dominick “a giant lummocks“. Then when the third night of the Super Strong Style 16 arrives, we hear Rey Mysterio’s entrance music for the first time in PROGRESS history, as he enters to a raucous pop from the Alexandra Palace. Alexandra Park in London lose their minds for the Lucha Libre legend, who comes out in Black Knight attire (a Marvel superhero from Britain). The fans love him and he shakes hand with Jim Smallman as he enters. Marty Scurll’s reception is mixed, but he certainly wants it to be vocally harsh. He takes beer out of fans hands and spits it at them, which certainly turns their reactions around.
The two men stare down after the bell is rung, a seismic stare. Rey puts his hand up with two fingers, but so does Scurll. They then both do the “2-0-5” taunt in sync. The crowd laugh, which Marty doesn’t like. He taunts on the second turnbuckle to earn their ire. Rey does the same and receives a good response. Scurll then jumps off and walks over to Rey - WHO DIVES AT HIM WITH A HURRICANERANA! They then run the ropes, AND MARTY CATCHES HIM WITH AN ARM DRAG HANDSPRING! MYSTERIO HITS HIS OWN ARM DRAG! Marty runs the ropes but Rey goes for a FRONT DROPKICK - but Marty halts so Rey misses the boat. SCURLL THEN DOUBLE FOOT STOMPS ON THE LUCHADORS FEET!! He lifts him up and starts to chop his chest.
Marty finishes the chops, AND THEN HITS A ROPE-ASSISTED ENZIGURI!! He stomps on Rey while he shouts at fans who boo him, telling them to be louder. He smashes his knee into a kneeling Rey, and then lifts him into a Gory Special!! REY ESCAPES WITH A SUNSET FLIP!! HE RUNS THE ROPES AND GOES FOR A SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY, BUT SCURLL CATCHES WITH A SITOUT SUPLEX SLAM!! HE RUNS THE ROPES AND HITS A PENALTY KICK!! HE LOCKS IN AN OCTOPUS HOLD!! He wrenches on it, but Rey shuffles to the ropes. Scurll then slides outside to shout at a fan who insulted him. SCURLL IS THEN HIT BY A SUICIDE DIVE INTO A HEADSCISSORS BY MYSTERIO!! REY THROWS HIM INSIDE AND HITS A FROGSPLASH!!! 1................2............KICK OUT!!! MARTY DOESN’T DIE AFTER THE SURPRISE ATTACK!!
Rey is now out of his trance of being beaten down and is back in the fight. Scurll goes for a Wheelbarrow Bodyscissors but Rey counters with an Arm Drag! HE GOES FOR A SUNSET FLIP PIN BUT SCURLL BREAKS OUT WITH A LANZA!! SCURLL THEN LIFTS REY UP FOR A GERMAN SUPLEX!! HE CONNECTS, AND GOES FOR ANOTHER! BUT MYSTERIO FLIPS OUT AND HITS A HEADSCISSORS!! HE THEN CONNECTS A BASEBALL SLIDEFOLLOWED BY HEADSCISSORS!! Rey is on a roll as he dances like Eddie outside. Scurll goes to push him into a fans seat, but Mysterio ducks and PUSHES HIM INTO THE APRON!! They then fight there. Scurll knocks Rey off and CONNECTS A SUPERKICK FROM THE APRON!! HE THEN DIVES OUT WITH A MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR!!
Now they’re both on the ground. Scurll is dead and so is Rey. They crawl up by the fans laps. Scurll asks a fan to hold Rey in place as he lines up a Penalty Kick. MYSTERIO EVADES BEFORE THE KICK CONNECTS AND PUSHES HIM ONTO A GROUP OF FANS SEATS!! HE THEN DIVES OFF THE SECOND ROPE WITH A CROSSBODY - OVER THE FANS HEADS TO SCURLL!! They’re both even more dead than before and spend time climbing out of the wreckage, through fans and bent and fallen chairs. Rey navigates his way back while Marty writhes in the agony. Once back in the ring Mysterio dives for a Seated Senton - BUT IS HIT BY A SUPERKICK!! SCURLL HITS THE BLACK PLAGUE AND ROLLS INTO THE CROSSFACED CHICKENWING!! REY GETS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES!! Scurll angrily lets go, throwing the luchador to the mat.
They’re back up and the contest is still on. Rey knocks Scurll down with a SUNSET FLIP INTO A ROUNDHOUSE KICK, AND THEN HITS THE DROPPIN DA DIME!!! 1.............2...........KICK OUT!!! MYSTERIO LIFTS SCURLL UP AND GOES FOR A BULLDOG, BUT MARTY HITS A BACKBREAKER RACK DROPPED INTO A FACEBUSTER!! SCURLL JUMPS FOR A TORNADO DDT - BUT MYSTERIO CATCHES WTH A DROPKICK!! HE THEN FLIES WITH HIS OWN TORNADO DDT!! 1...........2.........SCURLL ROLLS OUT AND GOES FOR THE TORNADO DDT, BUT MYSTERIO CATCHES HIM WITH A SUPER HURRICANERANA!! MARTY LANDS ON HIS FEET AND HITS THE PARTY’S OVER!! HIS OLD FINISHER BUSTED OUT ON THIS OCCASION!!! HE COVERS, 1...............2...............MYSTERIO KICKS OUT JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME!!!
They roll outside to recover after the big rush of counters. Scurll is first up and walks over to Rey’s daughter and wife. He tries to chat them up, BUT REY TURNS HIM AROUND INTO A THROW INTO THE RING POST!! HE HITS A BIG BOOT INTO THE STEEL!! Rey then sets up a wooden table, and brings Scurll up to the apron. They both trade forearms there. Marty jumps to the second rope, possibly looking for a TORNADO DDT!! REY BRINGS HIM DOWN AND HITSMA HURRICANERANA OFF THE APRON!! SCURLL CRASHES DOWN THROUGH THE WOODEN TABLE ONTO THE WOODEN FLOOR!! Scurll grabs his back in utter agony, his spine crushed by the wooden table and floor. Rey then picks him off the mat and rolls him inside.
Rey is looking to end it now, as he climbs up for a SPRINGBOARD SPLASH!! HE THEN LOOKS FOR A 619, BUT SCURLL HITS A EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!! SCURLL THEN GOES FOR A KNEELING REVERSE PILEDRIVER!! MYSTERIO COUNTERS WITH A ROLL UP FOLLOWED BY A FRONT DROPKICK AFTER THE KICK OUT! REY THEN CLIMBS UP FOR A DIVING WEST COAST POP!! 1............2.........KICK OUT!! REY GOES FOR ANOTHER - BUT ITS CAUGHT!! MARTY CATCHES HIM INTO A BIRD OF PREY!! HE HITS A TORNADO DDT!! HE FINALLY LOCKS IN THE CROSSFACED CHICKENWING!! REY ESCAPES AND SWINGS AROUND THE ROPES IN A 619 BUT IS HIT BY A SUPERKICK!! SCURLL THEN LOCKS IN THE CROSSFACED CHICKENWING WITH A BODYSCISSORS!! REY TAPS OUT!!!
Marty Scurll defeats Rey Mysterio (19:58)
Dominion 2019:
Kazuchika Okada (c) vs. Rey Mysterio - IWGP Heavyweight Championship
At Wrestling Dontaku, we see Kazuchika Okada and SANADA face off for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship in Night Two’s main event on May 4th. Afterwards, Rey Mysterio appears on video where he says he will return to New Japan at Dominion to take on Okada for his IWGP Heavyweight Championship. The Rainmaker then states that in his post-match press conference, that he’s always wanted to face Rey Mysterio and that he’ll be happy to do it. Rey is a good and honourable man who deserves this title match after 25 years of wrestling. Okada is happy to give him the opportunity but makes sure Mysterio knows, he won’t win.
Later in the month is AEW’s Double or Nothing. The highly anticipated show features a plethora of talent and star studded match ups, after the Jacksonville and Las Vegas rallies individually. Rey Mysterio appears at neither however despite heavy rumour and speculation. However, to open the show we see the Casino Battle Royale. In this we get a bomb dropped on us - the debut of Mysterio in AEW. Entering as the Joker, he comes and cleans house. It comes down to him and Adam Page, who face off in a 5-minute long battle. The winner will face either Kenny Omega or Chris Jericho at All Out for the AEW World Championship so the stakes are high. In the end, Hangman eliminates Rey after a Buckshot and Superkick combo.
Then two weeks later is Dominion. For the first time ever, Rey Mysterio will challenge for the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship. After a hell of the show we reach the main event. We’ve seen Dragon Lee vs. Will Ospreay, and Kota Ibushi vs. Tetsuya Naito, and now we’re here. Rey Mysterio cuts a promo earlier in the show about how this means the world to him, this opportunity, and that he needs to win. He will never get a chance like this again, and can’t waste it. Mysterio represents is no-nonsense ordeal, as he comes out dressed as The Punisher. He’s got the navy singlet, with a skull across it. His mask then has the skull as well on it. Mysterio taunts on the second rope, but then Okada comes out. It’s the same thing he felt against Tanahashi and Liger, just being in the presence of someone on another world.
When the bell rings, they don’t lock up straight away. They take in the magnitude of the stage and suck it all in. About a minute passes of this, before they lock up. They get into a collar and elbow, and Rey spins into a waist lock. Okada arm drags him off and cinches in a chinlock. Rey tries to flip out but Okada simply lowers down with him. HE THEN HITS A BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX!! Okada cinches in another chinlock. Rey gets up and Irish whips Okada to the ropes. The Rainmaker rebounds and connects a Shoulder Block to take Mysterio down. Rey gets up while Okada runs the ropes, and hits a HEADSCISSORS! Mysterio ducks under a clothesline and cinches the waistlock. He takes Okada down and applies a nerve hold, then hits a Spinal Tap!
Okada lifts himself up and runs the ropes for a Short-arm Lariat! Rey stumbles back and rolls into a VICTORY ROLL!! 1........2.....KICK OUT!! OKADA GETS UP WITH A SHOULDER BLOCK, AND THEN RUNS THE ROPES FOR A RONT DROPKICK INTO THE CORNER!! Mysterio takes a Bret Hart sell of falling on impact. OKADA LIFTS HIM FOR A FLAPJACK BUT REY FLIPS OUT AND HITS AN ARM DRAG!! HE RUNS THE ROPES BUT IS CAUGHT IN A WHEELBARROW !BODYSCISSORS, THAT IS COUNTERED WITH A BULLDOG!! FLYING HEADSCISSORS BY MYSTERIO!! HE RUNS THE ROPES BUT OKADA HITS THE FLAPJACK AND FOLLOWS WITH A MILLION DOLLAR DROPKICK!! Okada then lifts Mysterio up and throws him to the corner, and starts to apply shoulder blocks.
Okada Irish whips Mysterio who LEAPFROGS THE RAINMAKER AND HITS A MYSTERIO-EXPRESS!!! 1..........2.......KICK OUT!! OKADA WITH ANOTHER SHORT-ARM LARIAT!! Okada connects a European Uppercut to a kneeling Rey! This is the cut off, and The Rainmaker starts to stomp down on him. He lifts Mysterio up and Irish whips Rey, who jumps to the second rope AND DIVES OFF WITH A DIVING HURRICANERANA!!! OKADA ROLLS THROUGH AND CONNECTS A OPEN HAND CHOP!! DROPKICK!! HE LIFTS REY UP FOR A BACKBODY DROP BUT MYSTERIO EVADES AND HITS A SPINNING WHEEL KICK!! Rey is back in the fight, and runs the ropes for a RUNNING CROSSBODY!! HE HITS A TILT-A-WHIRL TORNADO DDT!! 1..........2........KICK OUT!!!
Rey pulls himself up by the ropes, hoping the comeback got him. He punches the air, but lifts The Rainmaker up. He heads to the apron and awaits Okada - BUT SUNSET FLIPS OVER! REY ROLLS HIM AND HITS A ROUNDHOUSE KICK!!! Mysterio then runs the ropes but OKADA WITH A BIG BOOT!! HE HITS THE HEAVY RAIN!! 1........2.........KICK OUT!!! REY PULLS HIMSELF UP AND HITS A LOU THESZ PRESS!! HE GOES FOR A SHIRANUI - BUT OKADA DUMPS HIM ONTO THE MAT!! Rey doesn’t get up from that one, feeling the pain. Okada stomps on him and kicks the head, THEN GOES FOR A DDT!! MYSTERIO SLIDES OUT AND HITS A HEADSCISSORS!! HE RUNS THE ROPES AND CONNECTS THE 619 OUT OF NOWHERE!! He climbs the ropes and points to the crowd - DIVING SPLASH!! 1.........2.........KICK OUT FROM THE RAINMAKER!!!
Rey gets desperate to end it and HITS A BASEBALL SLIDE TO THE OUTSIDE!! HE FOLLOWS WITH A SUICIDE DIVE INTO A HEADSCISSORS!! Okada falls into the guardrail both times, feeling the steel on his back. Rey goes to Irish whip but Okada reverses into his own. Rey then hops the guardrail and awaiting to see what Okada does. OKADA THEN DIVES OVER THE GUARDRAIL WITH THE SCOOBY DOOBY DOO!!! They both lay dead, as the referee counts down from 20. Eventually they get back up, after a lot of stumbling and tumbling. They get back in and REY DIVES WITH THE WEST COAST POP!! 1.........2.......OKADA ROLLS OUT OF IT WITH REY ON HIS BACK!!! ALABAMA SLAM!!! KICKOUT!!! HE LOCKS IN THE DEEP IN DEBT BUT REY GETS OUT!! HE RUNS TO THE CORBER BUT SO DOES OKADA WHO HITS A RUNNING BACK ELBOW!! HE THEN CONNECTS THE AIR RAID CRASH NECKBREAKER!!! 1...............2.............KICK OUT!!!!
Both guys have kicked out a bunch of times, but now they’re down to the last minute. They’ve gone over 20 minutes and start to trade forearms. They double down after their fifth blows. They crawl by the corners - AND REY HITS THE AIR MYSTERIO!! HE RUNS UP FOR A MYSTERIO-RANA!!!! 1...........2........OKADA ROLS OUT AND HITS A SCOOP SLAM!! HE THEN CLIMBS THE ROPES - AND DIVES WITH A DIVING ELBOW DROP!! HE LIFTS HIM UP FOR A RAINMAKER - BUT MYSTERIO DUCKS UNDER AND HITS A POISONED RANA!!! HE DIVES IN WITH A SPRINGBOARD SITOUT FACEBUSTER!! REY GOES FOR ANOTHER MYSTERIO EXPRESS, BUT OKADA COUNTERS AND LOCKS IN THE DEEP IN DEBT!! MYSTERIO ESCAPES, BUT IS LOCKED IN WITH A COBRA CLUTCH!!!! REY REACHES THE ROPES!!! HE GOES FOR A 619 BUT OKADA CATCHES AND HITS THE RAINMAKER!!!! 1................2.................3!!!!!!
Kazuchika Okada defeats Rey Mysterio (26:13)
Fyter Fest 2019:
The Elite (Kenny Omega, Matt Jackson and Nick Jackson) vs. Rey Mysterio and The Lucha Brothers (Fénix and Pentagon Jr.) - Six-man Tag Team Match
With the launch of All Elite Wrestling, many peoples attention have been grabbed. Double or Nothing as we know saw Rey Mysterio make his shock debut to open the main show as the Joker slot in the Casino Battle Royale. Him and Hangman Adam Page had a war as the final two, ending with Page winning. Now comes Fyter Fest, however this scheduled match between The Elite and The Lucha Bros/Pac has been altered. Pac pulls out and so the replacement is revealed on The Road To Fyter Fest, where Rey Mysterio is interviewed and then he announces he will be the partner of the Lucha Bros. This is the official main event of Fyter Fest, as the actual last match is Unsanctioned.
The Young Bucks enter first dressed as Ryu and Ken each, both posing on the stage until…the lights go down. A fan walks on stage, but then they go down again. KENNY APPEARS AS AKUMA’S RAGING DEMON!! He holds the finger gun over the fans body and makes his way down to the ring with his Elite stablemates. Then comes The Lucha Brothers. On the stage are Fénix and Pentagon dressed in their skull masks and hoodies. They both walk out but point to the centre, WHERE OUT COMES REY MYSTERIO!! Rey unhoods from his blue cloak to reveal his normal mask. He is dressed as Death from the Castlevania series in line with the whole skeleton aesthetic as well as for the video game tie-in.
“Round 1 – FIGHT!” yells Justin Roberts as Nick Jackson and Rey Mysterio start us off. They go into a lockup and start to push forward and back. Nick lifts himself to the second rope and tightropes it, before jumping down with an Arm Drag. Rey rolls through with that but jumps back in a Rana. They both run the ropes but Nick leapfrogs and Mysterio rolls under, then springboards off with a Crossbody. A cover goes nowhere and Nick kips up for his own arm drag, followed by a Back Body Drop that Rey flips out of. They then go to a stalemate at this point and reposition in their respective corners. Kenny whispers to Nick while Mysterio stretches on the ropes. They both then move forward to the centre.
Rey hits an Overhead Chop and follows with an Open Hand to the chest. He does this while maintaining wrist control. He then hits a Roundhouse Kick and an Enziguri, and runs up the ropes, then dives off with a CROSSBODY! Nick goes for a Superkick once up, but Rey spins him into a Spinning Wheel Kick attempt, which Nick spins and they HIT STEREO SUPERKICKS!! THEY THEN DOUBLE DOWN WITH CLOTHESLINES!! While their down, in come the others. EVERY TRIO IS IN THE RING AND A BRAWL BREAKS LOOSE! Kenny and Penta are going at it while Matt and Fénix do battle. They trade slaps and chops and kicks, until Mysterio and Nick are back up. REY HITS A AIR MYSTERIO TO NICK JACKSON!! The Lucha Bros then hit Superkicks to Kenny and Matt to take them outside. ALL THE LUCHADORS THEN DIVE OUT AFTER THE ELITE!!
They all enter the ring and isolate Matt. The Bros hit Superkicks and hold him in place for a MYSTERIO EXPRESS!! Nick comes inside but is hit by a Hook Kick, and then with a SEATED SENTON FROM REY!! FÉNIX WITH A DOUBLE SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT TO NICK!!! 1……..2…..KICK OUT!!!!! The Bros roll out and Nick and Mysterio keep going. They trade forearms, until Rey tags in Fénix. Fénix comes in hot with a Springboard Front Missile Dropkick to Nick. He looks for a double team with Pentagon, BUT NICK HITS THEM BOTH WITH A DROPSAULT!! HE TAGS IN MATT! MATT COMES IN WITH A TOPE CON HILO TO BOTH GUYS!1 HE HITS A NORTHERN LIGHTS ON PENTAGON WITH AN O’CONNOR ROLL ON FÉNIX!! 1………2……KICK OUT!! HIM AND NICK THEN HIT DOUBLE SLINGSHOT SITOUT FACEBUSTERS!!
Matt then gets a tag to Kenny Omega. OMEGA IS IN! Kenny runs straight forward with a Dropkick to Pentagon sending him outside. He hits a Backbreaker to a tagged in Mysterio , 1……2….KICK OUT!! HE GOES FOR THE YOU CAN’T ESCAPE!! BUT IT IS INDEED ESCAPED! MYSTERIO DIVES OFF THE TOP WITH A MOONSAULT!! Kenny recovers himself, BEFORE DIVING OUTSIDE WITH A RISE OF THE TERMINATOR TO PENTAGON!! PENTAGON CUTS HIM OFF! Cero…Miedo – AND THEY START TO FIGHT ON THE OUTSIDE!! They go to the apron where Pentagon lays in some chops, BUT OMEGA WITH A KOTARO KRUSHER ON THE APRON!! THE BUCKS THEN SEND FÉNIX TO THE FLOOR WITH A BACK BODY DROP + CANNONBALL SENTON COMBO!!
Now all The Elite are inside and isolate Rey Mysterio. The Elite triple team him, with Matt and Nick holding Rey in place for A V-TRIGGER!! FOLLOWED BY A GERMAN SUPLEX!! KENNY HITS THE YOU CAN’T ESCAPE!! MATT FOLLOWS WITH A TOP ROPE ELBOW AND NICK WITH A SWANTON!!! 1………2……KICK OUT!!!! They pick him up and The Bucks try to double team. MYSTERIO MOVES AND MATT SPEARS NICK!! ENZIGURI FROM MYSTERIO TO OMEGA!! HE TAGS IN PENTAGON!! Pentagon comes in and chops everyone, and then hits a Double Japanese Arm Drag on Matt and Nick! SUPERKICK TO KENNY FOLLOWED BY A LUNGBLOWER!! Kenny rolls out, but then FÉNIX SPRINGBOARDS TO THE OUTSIDE WITH A TORNILLO TO OMEGA!! REY FOLLOWS WITH A SUICIDE DIVE!! PENTAGON THEN HITS A LANZA TO MATT BACK IN THE RING AND COVERS! 1………2…….KICK OUT!!!
MATT FIRES BACK!! RUNNING CANADIAN DESTROYER TO PENTAGON – FOLLOWED BY A SPEAR!! Omega tags in and fights off all the luchadors, AND HITS DRAGON SUPLEXS ON ALL OF THEM!! Pentagon cuts him off again, AND SUPERKICKS NICK! HE TOSSES FÉNIX ONTO HIM WITH A MOONSAULT!! REY THEN HITS A WEST COAST POP ON KENNY!! 1…….2…..KICK OUT!!!! Mysterio then picks him up and hits THREE ROUNDHOUSE KICKS!! THE WHOLE MATCH THEN BREAKS DOWN INTO A SUPERKICK PARTY!! The Elite rally, BUT EAT SUPERKICKS!! THEY FIRE BACK WITH HADOKENS!! EVERY LUCHADOR HIT BY LIGER BOMBS!! NICK THEN WITH ASSISTED 450 SPLASHES ON FÉNIX AND MYSTERO!! PENTAGON MAKES THE SAVE! NICK WITH A SLINGSHOT X-FACTOR!! PENTAGON WITH A SLINGBLADE! OMEGA WITH THE V-TRIGGER!!
FÉNIX THEN FLIES IN WITH A CUTTER!! NICK CUTS HIM OFF WITH A NECKBREAKER!! FÉNIX THEN HITS THE SPANISH FLY TO NICK, OFF THE ROPES, INTO MATT AND PENTAGON ON THE FLOOR!! This takes those guys out but we still have Mysterio and Omega. KENNY HITS A V-TRIGGER OUT OF MIDAIR, AND THE TIGER DRIVER 98!!! 1………..2………KICK OUT!! KENNY WITH ANOTHER V-TRIGGER AND GOES FOR THE ONE-WINGED ANGEL – BUT REY HEADSCISSORS OUT!! HE CALLS FOR THE 619 AND CONNECTS IT!! HE THEN FLIES HIGH WITH THE WEST COAST POP TO FINISH OMEGA!!!!! 1……………..2………………3!!! THE LUCHADORS WIN THE BOUT, AND REY MYSTERIO PINS KENNY OMEGA CLEAN!!
The Lucha Brothers and Rey Mysterio defeat The Elite (20:20)